Tuesday, 9 September 2014

Waiting for Denzel and George!

As little girls we dream of the perfect man, that knight in shinning armour, the prince...telling ourselves that when it's time he will come and sweep us off our feet. Then we grow up and realize "oops, wait a minute...where is he? Time is running out and he is still not here!" Life is staring right back at us in the face and many times in an unpleasant way too. And the next question is "But what is wrong with me? I am beautiful, got a great job, I hang out with great friends, I pray about it...so why am I still single?!"
This may come as a shock to you especially having read all those books that told you to set high standards and never lower them and don't get me wrong, I am all for that. The question I am trying to ask you here is if your standards are realistic or rather if your list is realistic?! Are you waiting for Denzel or George cos last time I heard, Denzel has been married for years and George has been taken (recently) oh and Brad Pitt is taken too!
Some people make very long and incredible lists and get disappointed when they don't find a man that meets up with their incredible requirements. For example you want a blonde guy and you meet a nice brunette guy will that stop you from giving him a chance? What if he earned less money than you or if he is a little shorter or two inches taller than what is on your list? Will that also stop you from giving him a chance?
While there are things that one can and "should" over look, there are also others that one shouldn't and "must not" over look or bend our rules for and that in my opinion is mostly character. Even if a guy meets all your requirements but he is say for example a drunk, a drug addict, a womanizer or (because this may matter to some) of a different religion or even not religious at all-I personally would not advice anyone to consider being with such a man. But then also there is the flip side of the coin-you must make sure that you yourself possess some of those qualities which you seek in a partner! You can't be an alcoholic or a drug addict and be hell bent on finding a man who does not drink at all. Remember, like attracts like. Also if you are looking for a religious man then it makes very little sense going to the clubs with the hope of finding one. There are the "right" places to find the type of people we are looking for.
Lastly, our own attitude matters greatly. In fact our own attitude is the deal breaker or maker. One mistake that many women continue to make which I hear guys talk about is "talking about the ex". It's okay to explain it once (not on a first meeting) but once you talk about it one too many times it becomes a total turn off. Don't spend precious time recalling all your heart breaks from birth till date and avoid complaining about everything for it is common knowledge that people in general don't like to be around depressing people.
My advice is to always wear a positive attitude and a smile. A smile always does the magic! I try to keep my posts short and to the point always and I do hope you have enjoyed reading this. Check back next Wednesday for another interesting topic. Until next time, do keep the hope alive!
What in your opinion should one over look or not over look when it comes to finding a partner?

Wednesday, 3 September 2014

You can do that too!

I have been asked, "How does one write a book? Does one need to be born with the talent?" and so here is my answer to that. In my opinion anyone can do anything. Simple as that. It is all about your determination, how badly you want that thing, how much you put into it.
If a person with a so-called talent does not constantly practice and find new ways to improve then they will find themselves far behind for with everything, perfection comes with constant practice and the hunger to learn more.
I personally have been writing for as long as I remember-say about the age of seven and this gave me an escape from my physically and mentally abusive childhood. I would sit in corners and read or write, even in school while classes were going on I would hide a book underneath my desk and either read or write away. I constantly found myself escaping into my safe fantasy world where there were no whips nor harsh words.
Now here is the answer to the question on how to write. Close your eyes and imagine what you want to write. Lets say for example you want to write about what happened today, from the time you woke up until to the time you went to bed. Imagine what your day was like, what time you woke up, what mood you were in, what the air or the room smelt like, the colour of your clothes that is if you slept with any, the state your hair was, your thoughts at the time you woke up etc. All this will add up in helping your readers in their own imagination because as writing entails bringing imagination to life, so also does reading. You want to describe your day in such a way that your readers will be able to go into your mind and picture it as if they themselves were there, sometimes even picture it as if it were them acting it out.
Having imagined your day, the next thing is to begin writing it step by step as your mind replays the picture. Make sure you go step by step because you don't want to end up writing about drinking coffee before you write about waking up. It makes more sense to drink the coffee after one is awake. Does it not?
Usually all you need is a beginning, a middle and an ending and making sure the characters are consistent. For example if a character is in the habit of biting their lips or blinking, then make sure that the character continues to do so except of course the character makes a conscious effort to change that, which you must also state in your writing.
So basically this is the advice I have for those who are hoping to write their first book. Don't let anyone tell you that you do not have a talent to do anything. Remember, anyone with an imagination can do anything...yes, I said it, all you need in order to do anything is first of all an imagination and then next the decision and the determination and you will be amazed as you watch that little imagination come to life in a way bigger than you ever thought.
Tell me, what is the one thing you want to do but are afraid of doing and what about it scares you?
Check back next Wednesday for another interesting topic and until then, please keep the hope alive.

Tuesday, 19 August 2014

My mama did not go to school!

   Two years ago I was at my daughters school to pick her up and something happened that I never forgot and probably never will. She was four years old at that time and little did I know what she thought of me.
   Outside the school, one of her friends mother approached me and began speaking to me very fast in Portuguese about the ballet school which my daughter and hers attended. Being that I was born and raise in Africa and at that time had lived only 3 years in Portugal, my Portuguese was really bad and well, not so much has improved since then lol! I didn't have much clue what the woman was talking about but as usual, I put on a serious face nodding my head as the woman spoke, smiling when she smiled and laughing when she did and all the while trying to pick out a few words I could piece together to get a clue as to what she was talking about.
   My adorable daughter whom was playing with her friend as the woman rambled on in Portuguese quickly stopped and came to stand beside me looking from me to the woman as she bit her nails. After carefully observing the one-sided conversation, she turned to me knowingly and said slowly in Portuguese, almost as if she were talking to a child much younger than herself. "Mama you don't understand what she is saying. Do you?"
   I flashed her an unamused smile and replied in English. "Be quiet." My voice was gentle but firm. Too late as the woman had obviously heard my daughter for she stopped, her eyes travelling from my daughter to me almost accusingly. 
   "Madam,' my daughter said in Portuguese breaking the uncomfortable silence, 'you must speak slowly and demonstrate with your hands. My mother did not go to school. She does not understand what you are saying." That was easy for me to understand because she spoke slowly dragging her words and demonstrating with her little hands in an attempt to teach the woman how to speak to me. My mouth quickly dried up and embarrassment registered all over my face as I tried but failed to find the words to explain to the woman that I had gone to school...even the university for that matter.
   Too late for I could tell by the apologetic look the woman now gave me that she had totally believed my daughter. "I am sorry." She said in Portuguese almost counting her words as my daughter had suggested she did and she rambled something quickly in Portuguese, gave my daughter a small kiss on one cheek and walked away with her daughter.
   My fury and embarrassment was suddenly replaced with amusement as I looked down at my little girl whom was smiling at me with eyes of accomplishment like she had helped me out or something. 
   Reaching home, I narrated the story to my husband whom lovingly explained to my daughter that her mother "had gone to school" using herself as an example, he asked her. "Do you speak very good English?" She shook her head and he went on to explain to her that just because she didn't speak very good English did not mean she is illiterate because at school she is taught in Portuguese. And just when I began smiling, happy and relieved that she had understood, came another blast! "But if she went to school then why can't she drive?"
   My husband and I burst out laughing. "My dear,' he said as he gently rubbed her chin, 'your mama used to drive in Africa. The reason she does not drive here is because she needs a drivers license and she needs to write an exam in Portuguese in order to obtain a drivers license. In Africa it was easy because the test was in English."
   Her face lit up as the "a-ha" moment sank in!
   Till this day, I still look back and laugh. There is nothing more beautiful than the innocence of a child.
Have you ever had similar experience with your children?

Saturday, 16 August 2014

Welcome to Day2DayWoman With Ma'u Blogs!

Hello beautiful people, welcome to my new blog Day2DayWoman With Ma'u where I discuss "everything woman." I will be discussing about the things that many women think but are shy to ask or speak about. My blogs will range from sex, marriage, food, children, family, relationships, fashion, breaks-ups, health, books, inspiration and a bit of my own life. I intend to be very candid about everything and my greatest desire and hope is to inspire you all and be inspired by you too! I will be posting every Wednesday and if at any point I decide to increase the number of times I post a week then I will be sure to let you know. Come with me on this journey and together we can inspire one another and "keep hope alive!" I love you all.